By: Leah J.
A 'Love Addiction' is a real phenomena. I after researching it, I too consider myself a recovering 'Love Addict'. The term gained a lot of attention in 2010 when a doctor on a show called 'Celebrity Rehab' popularized the term, by diagnosing a case on TV.
Beyond television, it is published by Psychology Today, in an article by Ann Smith, Licensed
professional counsellor, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, and Master of Science.
Here is a summary of symptoms of a 'Love Addiction' as identified by Therapist Ann Smith:
- Expectation of finding lifelong happiness from the love of a romantic partner
- Absence of pronounced periods of being single since reaching 18 years of age
- Struggle to take necessary time to heal after a failed relationship, before running out to find a new 'friend' or 'rebound'
- Has stayed in a bad relationship or repeatedly returned to an ex partner to avoid loneliness
- Expectation that a partner will deliver the feeling of being loved or being lovable
- Coaxes oneself to love someone who does not seem like the right person to be 'in love with' because the result of being loved back is strongly desired
- Cares to try to make over or change a partner early in a relationship instead of walking away
- When in a relationship there is prevalent uncertainty that the current partner is the 'Right One' or there are fantasies of former partners that may have brought more happiness
- Has used the words 'soul mate' in reference to how love should be
- Preoccupation with notions of love expressed in music, movies, and fiction
Therapist Ann Smith ends the article published by Psychology Today by saying, "I won't ask you to score or rate yourself. You know who you are! If you suspect you are a love addict - don't feel too badly about it. I was a member of the love addicts club for a good portion of my life as well. I too was in love with love." There is a help section in the article as well. Read More
There is a website called AllAboutLove.org a subsidiary of AllAboutGod.org identifies different symptoms of a 'Love Addiction' and discusses it from a biblical standpoint.
- Is unable to trust in relationships
- Has an inner rage over lack of nurturing in childhood
- Battles with depression
- Tolerates high-risk behaviour
- May have other addictive or compulsive behaviours
- Questions values and life all the time
- May have a frantic personality
- Denies problems confuses wants as needs
- Replaces ended relationships immediately
AllAboutLove.org continues:
Corinthians 13:4-8. Here, the Bible elegantly defines love in this way: ”Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love will last forever.” Read More
In the 21st century Hollywood and all of it's movies, shows, fantasies, and dreams have made it's mark on both adults and children alike as many children are growing up, or have grown up in front of some screen or another. The countless hours spent in front of the screen has helped to shape a certain sense of understanding of love, lust, and infatuation. Do we know love by its rightful name? Do we understand love the way God intended us to understand it? If you think you know love, ask yourself this, "Do you know God?"
- 1 John 4:8
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
1 John 4:7-9 (in Context) 1 John 4 (Whole Chapter)
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